I'm sharing this in the hope it helps parents struggling through those teen years.
Whenever I travel I take books to read. And tucked away within those books I take cards that have meaning to me.
But Always this one. To the Moon and Back.
When I'm away from home I gently take it out and read its words. At home it stands in view, my own daily reminder of self care, connection and gratitude.
My daughter wrote this card over 5 years ago.
At a time when there was loss and bereavement. This card reminds me not only of my strength but of my daughters strength and wisdom. On days when I thought I had it all wrong, this parenting task.....I'd reflect on this card and all would settle. I've attached (with permission) 2 snippets from the card. We've always been writers and talkers. A card never simply says To and From.
The power of words is phenomenal.
This card has traveled to many countries and counties throughout England. And each time I read it I am still filled with utter joy, peace, happiness and gratitude. And cry!
For all of those parents who wonder;
Should I take that job? It may take time away from my children. Should I join that class? I'll need to leave my kids for a few hours. Should I take that trip? What will others think. Should I take that leap? What will others think.
Do it .
Because the greatest gift you can ever give your child, is to show them how to be brave. How to take risks, how to leap. Even if you fall that teaches them resilience. You are their greatest teacher not just through words but through your actions they witness.
My daughter was a teenager when she wrote this, navigating her own adolescent roads.
Yet she truly saw me and watched me grow. I was often away from home working and growing a business. Whilst I felt guilt at not being fully present she felt pride at watching me grow.
Never underestimate the power of modelling to your children. Showing your children how you can navigate life, even the tough roads. Showing them that you are prepared to take a risk is a true gift.
Often we get confused as parents, feeling we need to be there consistently and that true parenting is placing our child's needs first all the time.
But in fact allowing your child to see you focus elsewhere teaches them empathy and compassion. It enables resilience to grow.
Allowing your child to see you self care promotes their own well being in later life. It also allows you to bring the very best version of yourself to your child. So that one day they look to you as inspiration. And that best version of yourself can then be fully present to value and honour time together.
Connections become stronger and communication deeper. Because when you are your best self you can be fully present as there is no resentment standing in the way.
To The Moon and Back.